Are you someone who does get time to meet your family or friends? Whenever there is a family gathering or a friend’s party, do you find yourself saying, “I’m occupied with work at the moment; I’ll catch you later?” If you are someone who has been too busy working and has reduced your social life to a minimum, you are a workaholic.
A survey in North Carolina says that the top reason for divorces in the states is work addiction. There are many who realized being a workaholic too late in their lives, this was the time when they had lost a lot of things. The self-realization of a workaholic is very important, as, by the time you do, you will be suffering in your personal life, and there will be no coming back from it.
Someone shared on the internet that he had been working for 30 years, and all he had been doing was focusing way too much on his work. Yes, he had been making a lot of money, but this habit of his cost him his relationships. It took him a health crisis at the age of 50 to realize they he had been prioritizing money over everything he held in life. All he did was run after money all these years, as he thought his worth was due to all the money he had been making and kept on hurting his relationships. In those 30 years, he did not realize that his working too much was the reason for his failed marriage, and to hide away from the pain, he spent most of his time on the computer.
Dr. Malissa Clark and her team at the University of Georgia are studying work addiction to learn more about its causes and effects. She found that many workaholics don’t even realize how their work has been impacting their families.
In her study, she found most people stating that “I wish I could spend more with my kids, but I do this because of X, Y, Z reasons. But when she spoke to their families, she often gets to hear resentment and feelings that all the burden falls on them as their partners don’t have time to help them with things, and this also lead to less intimacy in their marriage.
Most people who are of high worth and who have been earning a lot of money make them financially independent. They all feel lonely and disconnected due to all the pressure their work life has been giving them. Many couples who value money over relationships have seen their marriage less satisfying.
Now, take a little time and think about all those times you chose work over people, or you missed an important event in your life because you were too busy working and earning money. So, how do you feel about your choices now? Still don’t believe yourself to be a workaholic? Read on to see if you are.
Well, there is a difference between being a workaholic and someone who enjoys doing his work. Maybe you are someone for whom your work is your passion. For example, if you are an artist, like a musician or an actor, who needs to travel a lot due to your work projects. You stay away from your family for longer periods. But, besides being apart, if you are connected to them via phone calls, or after being away for four months, you spend one month on a holiday with them, you won’t lose being who you are, and your family and friends will value your time away.
On the other hand, a workaholic has a few things in common:
- They always have a sense of pressure when they are working. They tend to work more due to the job pressures or feel some inner force to keep working.
- They can’t stop thinking about work even when they are not working. You often see people working on their day offs or on their vacations.
- They work more than what’s required on their work, even if their ambitions are starts causing problems in their personal life or marriage.
Many of us are so stuck with our harmful habits that it has slowly become an addiction. But, workaholism seems to be okay by society. People who try to finish one more task on their to-do list are celebrated in our fast-growing work culture. You will find many books, podcasts, and TED Talks pushing you to be more productive and grow bigger businesses. They constantly tell us that it is always okay to do more.
Although, all these factors make it too tough to resist these ongoing trends that they turn into our addiction. The one thing that really makes us stop doing work is serious health or family issues, as we are too deeply connected to the money we make and what we achieve with our self-worth. We believe our value as humans is based on how much we’re worth. But this thinking can lead to burnout, disappointment, and broken relationships.
Many experts from different fields and various backgrounds have struggled with work addiction. Personal traumas, societal pressures, workplace culture, and even our natural instincts push us to think we need to work more, earn more, and be more successful. But this isn’t the path to a fulfilling life. What we need to learn is that our family, friends, and social connections make us emotionally rich and are much more valuable than the endless work and money we have been running after.